阿凡提的大幽默

杏熟季节.............................................................1

醋从眼睛里溢出来了...................................................2

我本人就在外衣里.....................................................3

五十只麻雀...........................................................4

吃肉粘饭.............................................................4

买条绞索送去.........................................................6

肮脏的乌鸦...........................................................7

请口袋喝口茶.........................................................8

食道着火的时候.......................................................9

还以为是给巴依宰羊...................................................9

把全城闹翻..........................................................10

鹦鹉和洋鸡..........................................................11

救命之鱼............................................................12

我认识他们..........................................................13

我看你们还会说什么..................................................14

忘了掺牛奶..........................................................15

什么东西都不是了....................................................15

不怕老婆者..........................................................16

他们最了解我........................................................17

别操心核桃了........................................................18

妻子唱歌............................................................19

独眼狗..............................................................20

死鸡还能上下来回走动................................................22

猫哪儿去了..........................................................23

我的手给你..........................................................24

月亮好太阳..........................................................24

相互问问............................................................25

我还不过瘾哩........................................................26

灭鼠灵药............................................................27

分担................................................................29

绝妙的智慧..........................................................29

忘记洗了............................................................30

给驴添草............................................................30

只要您能坚持........................................................32

锯碗................................................................32

和年轻时力气一样大..................................................33

床上睡不下四个人....................................................34

我把猫扔进去........................................................35

羊髀石和布娃娃......................................................36

好极啦..............................................................37

智慧掉进肚子里......................................................38

烹饪方法在我这儿....................................................39

宝剑与火棍..........................................................40

哪能不惆怅.........................................................40

一条腿的鹅.........................................................41

愿意吃嘴巴就吃嘴巴.................................................42

为什么不做双靴子...................................................43

幸亏我没有在里面...................................................44

惩罚...............................................................45

三句名言...........................................................46

画匠治病...........................................................47

对巫师的回答.......................................................48

借贼搬家...........................................................49

瞎了眼.............................................................50

不要调动知县.......................................................51

又是一个疯子.......................................................52

请贼关门...........................................................52

我也做不做.........................................................53

吃了酸杏的百灵鸟...................................................54

对着扇子摇头.......................................................55

想吃饭.............................................................55

惭愧...............................................................56

死了也不会往下走...................................................56

第一个糊涂虫.......................................................57

伤寒病.............................................................58

借驴...............................................................58

幸亏掉下来的是核桃.................................................59

骗猫...............................................................60

打架...............................................................60

头上种棉花.........................................................61

跟爸爸一起上路.....................................................62

鞋子唱赞歌.........................................................62

混账东西...........................................................63

锁门...............................................................64

小偷送来的褥子.....................................................65

牛的朋友...........................................................66

最终会来墓地.......................................................66

嫁女...............................................................67

问牛价.............................................................68

真的没有了.........................................................69

还算有良心.........................................................70

决不会住在家里.....................................................71

鞋尖啃老鼠.........................................................71

劳者得食...........................................................72

在意料之中.........................................................73

月亮和星星.........................................................73

和毛驴想在一起了...................................................74

为我的外衣闹腾.....................................................75

把日期提前了.......................................................75

捉蝇告状...........................................................76

不能借钱给你.......................................................77

还是您叫醒他吧.....................................................77

遵命照办...........................................................78

我把鱼放了.........................................................79

与你无关...........................................................79

别把脑袋挂在窗子上.................................................80

不好也不坏.........................................................81

巴依的命只值一个铜子...............................................81

等您睡觉以后吹.....................................................82

能取暖的物件.......................................................83

财主给马当媒人.....................................................84

藏果酱.............................................................84

不慌不急...........................................................85

万一他们把你放回去.................................................86

套鞋...............................................................86

让它带你去吧.......................................................87

吃棍子等于开了斋...................................................88

儿童的愿望.........................................................88

给毛驴打蜡.........................................................89

摆弄知县...........................................................90

是我对你开的玩笑...................................................92

再夺回来...........................................................92

驴的叫唤比这个好听.................................................93

把你蛰死了怎么办...................................................94

眼睛没吃饱.........................................................95

工钱与大西瓜.......................................................96

岂不连我也丢了.....................................................98

让别人也看一看.....................................................98

我也是这么想的.....................................................99

这是不可能的......................................................100

肉汤烫嘴..........................................................101

我车里坐的是狗吗..................................................102

买上次那样的黄油..................................................102

猎熊..............................................................103

少学三门功课......................................................104

要以后才知道......................................................104

到骡子想去的地方..................................................105

没有五官的羊头....................................................106

只是不要再来见我..................................................106

核桃和无花果......................................................107

无钱人的话粗鲁....................................................108

肚痛用眼药治.....................................................109

哪有现成十五.....................................................109

留名.............................................................110

开支有谁报销.....................................................111

受教于您.........................................................112

由于你老啦.......................................................113

财主夸喀孜.......................................................114

幸好没读过《四十大盗》...........................................114

剃头.............................................................115

如愿以偿.........................................................116

别人就做不到.....................................................116

谦虚的圣人.......................................................117

叫门.............................................................118

卖鸡.............................................................118

冒失人和疯子.....................................................119

我不是兽医.......................................................120

两个人的老婆.....................................................120

谁也没有穿过的连衣裙.............................................121

现金.............................................................122

山羊作证.........................................................123

出奇的放高利贷者.................................................124

想起了我的母山羊.................................................125

谁卖.............................................................125

与五个女人接吻...................................................126

我杂回答他.......................................................126

大鼻子女婿.......................................................127

幻想的香味.......................................................128

放一把梯子.......................................................129

阿凡提和制靴匠...................................................129

阿凡提的大智慧

就是这么打碎的..................................................1

一碗毒药........................................................2

连星期日也不是..................................................3

屁股坐在脑袋上..................................................4

一物三吃........................................................5

我是公鸡........................................................6

财主当驴........................................................7

黑胡子与白胡子..................................................8

太阳衣..........................................................9

秃尾狗.........................................................10

酒鬼的外衣和散蓝...............................................11

国王有四条腿...................................................12

在国王身上犯罪.................................................13

比赛学问.......................................................14

上次给过了.....................................................16

经文上没有规定.................................................17

金钱和正义.....................................................17

分饿肉.........................................................18

离驴子只有两尺.................................................19

不要背后议论了.................................................20

毛驴在马背上...................................................21

就住在你舅舅家.................................................22

能办到的事.....................................................23

高山和阴沟.....................................................24

上当了.........................................................25

为了让长工们歇息...............................................25

伯克坐船.......................................................26

没有必要穿心袷胖...............................................27

理发匠.........................................................27

认马...........................................................28

一定如实禀报...................................................29

请你等一秒钟...................................................30

分绵羊.........................................................31

阿凡提的箭法...................................................32

打孩子.........................................................32

“等等”留给丈夫...............................................33

把唤礼塔锯掉...................................................34

断案...........................................................35

圆梦...........................................................36

裤子和马.......................................................37

不是农民就是驴.................................................40

我们都会溺水...................................................41

一段奇特的经文.................................................42

舒坦舒坦......................................................42

国王寻找智慧..................................................43

最上面的和最下面的............................................45

铁锹和笔......................................................47

对付打呼噜的办法..............................................47

谁怕谁........................................................48

请你替我当喀孜................................................51

妇人的话......................................................52

驴官..........................................................53

脸蛋与智慧....................................................53

小牛犊跟我一样................................................54

驴和草料袋....................................................55

胡子像驴尾毛一样多............................................56

请倒过来尝试..................................................57

不好意思的事..................................................58

做人之路......................................................59

跟你站在一块的................................................59

白马与黑马....................................................60

连我本人的话都不相信..........................................61

找打有趣的生活了吗............................................62

用葫芦瓢打油..................................................63

天亮了我们抓跳蚤..............................................65

都是真主的房子................................................66

五升麦........................................................67

钱包与钻石戒指................................................68

你自己猜吧....................................................69

不能原谅第二次................................................69

吃了不花钱的肉................................................70

智慧充满了脑袋................................................71

什么也没有....................................................71

一根麦草......................................................72

肉汤的肉汤的肉汤..............................................73

真主改变主意..................................................74

力气钱........................................................75

随从..........................................................76

要是散蓝能识字的话............................................77

我怕陛下看不清我..............................................78

陛下说话理应恭听..............................................78

一百两金子....................................................79

报仇与报恩....................................................80

答难题........................................................80

凶兆..........................................................81

一盘子土......................................................82

报酬的一半....................................................83

妙医..........................................................84

打猎奇遇......................................................85

两头毛驴驮的东西..............................................86

凭证..........................................................87

阴阳鱼........................................................88

给喀孜理发....................................................89

谁的嘴馋......................................................90

知县和狗......................................................91

诅咒你一千次..................................................92

冲着国王叫的驴子..............................................93

有毛驴的地方..................................................93

察狱..........................................................94

按照真主的旨意................................................94

比国王早死两天................................................95

不忍心踩在脚下................................................96

白天的星星....................................................97

你们想的是一样的..............................................98

在您的庇萌下..................................................99

“清廉”的伯克...............................................100

藏着怀里的东西...............................................101

吉祥如意.....................................................102

智擒强盗.....................................................103

味儿在衣兜里.................................................105

扫院洒油.....................................................106

大力士.......................................................107

学者和愚者...................................................108

大葫芦和大饭锅...............................................109

阿凡提和掌学.................................................110

马飞上天啦...................................................111

信兔.........................................................112

种毛驴.......................................................114

模仿孩子.....................................................115

棍子告诉我...................................................116

亲自去丈量...................................................117

财主招女婿...................................................118

财主的叮嘱...................................................120

种金子.......................................................121

王袍.........................................................123

卖给我们当补丁...............................................123

银元融化掉了.................................................124

“忠诚”的百姓...............................................125

身未离鞍.....................................................126

修城墙.......................................................127

奴仆的分配方法...............................................128

习惯.........................................................130

妙计遣盗.....................................................131

请你收起来...................................................132

卖壁毯.......................................................132

完成了任务...................................................134

月光和井水...................................................135

奇怪的商队...................................................136

一块顶一千块.................................................138

拆我的这一层.................................................139

脚丫子找到了吧...............................................140

从未听到过的事...............................................141

毛

驴

上

笑

星

幽默感就是分寸感。

                        ——纪伯伦

       使你发笑的人，滑稽；

       使你想了一想笑的人，幽默。

                              ——George Bunus

       幽默是生活波涛中的救生圈。

                                         ——拉布

   给幽默下定义和对幽默作分析，

  是欠缺幽默感的人的消遣。

                                     ——本奇利

一个成功的人是以幽默感对付挫折的。

                                         ——詹姆斯·潘

          有许多真实的话都是在笑话中讲出来的。

                                                                  ——斯威夫特

驴

     上

        的

           智

              者

              人类的智慧就是快乐的源泉。

                                 ——薄伽丘

                   从智者的土壤中生出三片绿芽：

                   好的思想，好的语言，好的行动。

                                        ——希腊谚语

             缺乏智慧的灵魂是僵死的灵魂。

             若以学问来加以充实，它就能恢复生气，

             犹如雨水浇灌荒芜的土地一样。

                                ——阿布尔·法拉治

对于有杰出的智慧的人来说，热情只应该是一个动力。

正像风对于大海一样，风卷起海浪，使大海发怒，气势雄伟，然后

风消失了，大海还是大海。

                           ——小仲马